Between two worlds – about responsibility, change and finding home

It's hard to put into words a year that contains an entire life. But I'll try.

A year ago I was at a crossroads. I had been forced to close down my company in Sweden, my life's work, built over 15 years. All the newspaper articles, all the photos on the walls, all the memories that lay like a heart in my home in Stockholm. It wasn't just a job I left, it was an identity.

And so I moved to Switzerland to start working as a flight attendant. I didn't know if it would last. Would I manage financially in one of the most expensive countries in the world? Would I find my place? Would I be able to start over?

There was also a side job as a RUN & LIFT Coach at NOW Fitness, where I learned not only about the body, but about discipline, consistency, communication. I learned how to build new routines, follow through on them – and how to help others find their inner strength.

But what has carried me the most this year is something bigger than training. It's about taking responsibility. For your decisions. For your feelings. For the consequences, even those you didn't see coming.

I've been through a lot. Debts that came with the company, a home I eventually had to sell. Having to leave Sweden, even though every part of me still longed for it. Standing before the authorities and saying: "I don't know how to make a declaration, I'm an opera singer." But I said it anyway. And I was met with understanding. With support.

It's something I've always carried with me from Sweden, the belief in open conversation. That if you just dare to be honest, there is a way forward.

I have learned that responsibility is not something you just “take”, but it is a process. You grow into it. It is like the sadness when you return to Sweden after a long break. At first it feels wrong, then you understand that it is normal. And finally it feels like home again.

Now, a year later, I'm faced with a new decision. Should I move back? I want to, but I haven't found an apartment yet. And I've learned not to rush things. To wait for the right thing. To not run away from something, but to move towards something.

I am no longer afraid. The melancholy I felt has gone. I have begun my journey back. Not just geographically, but spiritually.

My future is not written in stone. I haven't quit my job in Zurich. I don't know exactly where I'll live. But I know what I'm taking with me:

• Honesty.
  
• Transparency.
  
• Responsibility.
  
• Discipline.
  
• Friendship.
  
• And hope.

It's easy to believe that life crashes when you lose your footing. 

But sometimes it's only then that you learn to fly.

//Florian